Can You Tell The Difference Between a Great Catch and a Jerk?
You’re going about your day, from place to place, get all of your errands done quickly so you have some “me” time.
Then it happens, a cute guy smiles at you… then he approaches you… he’s a smooth talker and after a minute or two of chit-chat you’re offering your phone number or email address to him.
Then the moment is over and he’s gone… and you’re just a bit (well maybe a little more than a bit) smitten by him…
And the next day he calls you up, or emails you… and he says that he’s going to be at such-and-such a place, in your neighborhood, and so do you want to meet for a coffee and some friendly conversation?
Of course you agree, after all, he’s cute, seems to have his act together (well, at least his clothes were clean and his fingernails weren’t bitten down to their beds), so what the hey… you agree to meet him.
And now you’re having coffee with him… and a nice conversation… but something is seeming to be a little off about him. Then you notice it, he’s checking out other women over your shoulder, behind you!
Ugh… men are animals.
Now, this isn’t an all-encompassing article about the psychology of men. (If ever there is one, email me the link, ok?)
But this is an article of starter tips on finding a great guy as opposed to wasting a lot of time on the jerks and losers that seem to be so predominant.
You’ll never find a great guy at a place where jerks hang out. If you’re somewhere… whether grocery shopping or out for appies and drinks with the girls… if you spot a couple of jerks, there will be more along shortly. And that means it’s time to change your “girl time” destinations and change your grocery stores. If you’re not in the same place where the great guys are, then how will you find each other?
Understand the difference of “flirting” and “the come-on”. Guys usually are pretty bad at hiding their intentions with their body language. Their “animal” instincts always betray them. One big give-away is that if he’s looking your way, and his shoulders are a little hunched forward, then he’s in “game mode” and is likely looking for names and numbers to puff up his little black book rather than a real lady for a real date. A guy that is seriously interested, then he’ll be sitting up, shoulders back and chin forward. He’ll smile with his eyes, and maybe be a bit hesitant, before he makes real contact with you.
Don’t play games if you don’t want to be involved with games. I’m not saying that you need to beg him to love you… or that you need to discuss passion and needs, and a life together, all before date number three. But date as if you’re really looking for a guy to fulfill your needs and future dreams. It’s your life and when you’re ready to share that with a man you need to put the games away and be upfront with what you do want out of your life… but don’t say everything all in one call, email or date… guy’s are nervous animals.
Never be afraid to end a relationship that is going no where. Remember, it is your life and you need to have the power over how you spend each precious moment. When it’s time to end it, make it fast, quick and in a short amount of time as possible. This is good for you and good for him. Move on.
Don’t be afraid to look for help, with dating, relationships, and how to manage your life. We weren’t born with the all the knowledge that we need to get through life, so we need to ask people that have the answers to the questions that perplex us about life.
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