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Asking For A Date At Work: The Rules

Nothing sets off alarms bells like workplace romances.

How to Ask a Coworker For a Date

When a workplace romance begins to be noticed, whether real or imagined, the rumor mill goes full tilt, everyone knows, or wants to know, something. 

And keeping the relationship under wraps is next to impossible. 

Here are the basic rules for workplace romances you should govern yourself by. Note that not all of these rules may apply everywhere.

Be sure you know your workplace policies about office relationships, and interpersonal fraternization. Some workplaces strictly forbid such extracurricular activities, going so far as offering a workplace dalliance as terms for dismissal. Don’t let it cost you your job and career.

Although the initial “Would you like to go out sometime” question happens at the workplace, try to keep such continuing personal discussions to a minimum. Nothing is more disruptive or attention-getting than an office romance. And nothing will show up quicker on your next personnel review than ‘hitting on’ co-workers.

  • No means No. And leave it at that. If you attempt to change a ‘No’ into a ‘Yes’ you may find yourself defending a sexual harassment accusation.
  • Do not ask for dates outside of your worker’s class or supervisory level. Asking your boss for a date isn’t a good idea and a worse idea is asking someone that is under your responsibility. If the attraction is just too obvious that you both have to act on it, someone should change jobs before being forced to.
  • Set ground rules that you both will abide by. This should cover conversations, phone calls and all types of non-business contact.
  • Never bring a relationship problem or argument into the workplace.
  • Do not respond to the inevitable gossip or jealous remarks about your relationship.


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Rob L. editor and writer
This article written and/or edited by Robert Lee.
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