How to Recognize an Abusive Relationship
Women who get involved with abusive men are typically those who had abusive childhood home environments.
This kind of upbringing tends to normalize abusive behavior in all relationships. What this means is that women from this kind of a background are not as keen to the subtleties of abuse the way “healthy” women are.
On a positive note, there is a silver lining here, all behavior can be relearned, including the ability to recognize early signs of abuse as unacceptable behaviors in a relationship. Once this is learned, a woman will be able to break free from unhealthy relationships with men who are no good for her.
Below is a list of common abusive behaviors to watch for:
- Criticism about your good qualities
- Past abusive relationships
- Criminal activities
- Drinking or drug problems, past or present
- Mood swings
- Discourages your successes
- Abusive family members or spouses of siblings
- Attempts to control your whereabouts
- Disrespect toward your publicly or privately
- Violations of others rights
- Attempts to keep you isolated
- Persistent lying
- History of truancy, delinquency and running away
- Highly reactive
- Streaks of meanness toward others for no reason
- Threatened by relationships with other men, past, present or imagined
In order to recognize early abusive signs, a woman must stop rationalizing “abusive” behaviors as “normal.” If she sees one abusive behavior, regardless of how small, she needs to remind herself that it is abuse. Period! With this new skill, she will soon be dating men who treat her with dignity and respect-the way all women deserve to be treated.
Love makes people do things that they regret later on. Wanting to wait for him to change is a natural thing, it’s your love speaking. However, it’s also an irrational thought.
Being in love, it’s natural to make excuses or accept his excuses for his unacceptable behaviors. The hardest thing to do is to see him for who is, a cheater, liar, and disrespectful man.
If you keep this type of man in your life, he will eventually treat you poorly with disrespect and an inability to honor his vows. If this is the behavior you desire in a partner, then by all means, stand by your man. If not, and hopefully not, close that door tight and find yourself an honorable man to respect you in socially acceptable ways in which the two of you can be proud of.
Gaining insight is one thing, but applying change to your well-oiled behavior will require you to stretch yourself, to fight the urge and go against what feels natural.
People’s behaviors, both good and bad, are learned. And what is learned can be unlearned
Manage the men in your life and strengthen your relationships with the tools you will learn in the Toxic Man program.