Can You Get Him Past the First Stages of Your Relationship?
If you have doubts about your relationship, here are somethings to ask yourself:
- Have you gone through the vital steps of meeting his family and friends, and he has met yours and everything is good?
- Have you spent special time together, away on vacation of even a “staycation” where you just stay in and ignore all other distractions except each other?
- You have talked about being exclusive and that’s as far as your relationship has moved?
- You do have a special connection and you do want it to last but it seems that the good times are becoming a distant memory.
- The dullness of everyday living has rubbed the shine off your romance and you can’t find a way to talk about these feelings.
It’s in this stage that many couples have a hard time dealing with the change in their relationship.
From honeymoon to “honey, move”… you can see the darkness because the flame is out.
Do you think he’s changing his mind about the seriousness and the commitment he needs to make to keep your relationship alive?
Maybe you’ve heard these types of stories from girlfriends, maybe you’ve read about this change in a guy’s attitude but haven’t come across it until now.
What do you do?
What do you look for?
The first thing you need to do is not jump to any conclusions, after all, usually, this is a stage of your relationship that is understandable, just like any other stage.
Questions to not ask him right now:
- Are you serious about us?
- Where is our relationship going?
- I think we need to talk…
These are “pressuring questions” and they can push a guy father away, you’re forcing him to admit something that he is potentially unsure of and this will have a negative reaction on your relationship as it is now.
So what do you do?
You make intentional moves to bring him back closer to you.
Take a bigger interest in the things he does. Listen to him and ask him open ended questions about his day, help him to open up to you.
The more conversations you have together, alone and without distraction, the more the natural closeness that you felt at the beginning will return again.
Allow him space to return affection and tenderness. (Many guy’s just don’t “get it” about physical affection, so leading him is a great way to find out just how serious he is about your relationship right now.)
Men and women are different in many ways
One major blocker in any relationship is when the “commitment phase” happens faster for the woman than the man.
You become puzzled, maybe even frazzled with worry.
You feel you need to know whether he still loves you or not and panic creeps into your psyche when you think about the relationship road you’re on.
But don’t force him to be pinned down to an emotion he may not feel yet, even with all the “I love you’s” he may have doubts.
Or, like most men, he just isn’t in tune with your relationship rhythm.
But don’t let this be bottled up, put this worry aside and turn negative action into positive actions.
Show your love and concern in small actions, don’t go out and buy him something expensive, instead slip a love note into his pocket before he goes to work.
Don’t send flowers to his work, cook a nice dinner, with a bottle of wine and romantic music on the stereo (just make sure he doesn’t have plans for the evening).
When you ask him how he feels about you, he’ll not react well, and this could blow into something much larger.
Take time to get re-acquainted with the man you were first dating.
Make the romantic moves easy for him to follow, and follow you he will, and he’ll soon be in the relationship rhythm right where you are.
It’s the small things that attract and keep a man forever in love with you.