How to Find Commitment in a New Relationship
Is he a man that can’t commit? Does she know how to break the ice without being slutty?
Is he really shy or just uncomfortable around the opposite sex?
Can she attract the man she likes to date as opposed to the guy-she-likes as a friend?
He:
Needs to start with some self-confidence, after all, once eye contact has been made and a smile elicited from the woman, it’s time to introduce yourself, start the conversation with a simple “Hello”.
The worse thing the guy can do is pretend to ignore her.
She:
Needs to be open to encounters of the innocent and friendly kind. Once the “Hello” has been made she needs to be ready with some interesting questions to ask the person she’s just met.
These are also questions to ask a prospective boyfriend and someone that she really likes but hasn’t yet spent any alone time with.
Questions to ask such as:
How did you know about this place? (or who did you come with? Checking to see if you have friends in common… or, if she knows who the guy came with ask how he knows the other guy)
What type of work do you do?
That’s a nice shirt, where did you find it?
How do you like my shoes?
He:
Breaking the ice tips that guys need to know:
Look her in the eyes when you talk to her, not her boobs;
Offer a compliment on hair, shoes, jewelry, something that she may have put a lot of thought into wearing;
Don’t go into politics or religion (unless that’s the place you are at) keep conversation topics fun and friendly;
If there is food and drinks in the area ask her to join you, do not serve her. Don’t wussy out always get things together when you’re first with someone new, do not offer to serve them unless you’re ready to establish a dependent-type relationship.
Remember, compliments are great to break the ice but don’t overdo it or say anything inappropriate. Don’t tell her you like the “junk in her trunk” – most girls don’t like being told they have a big ass, shapely yes, but not a big or a fat ass.
She:
Hinting to a guy that you like him is one of the easiest ways to “open the door” for him to approach you. If you’re in close proximity, pretend to pull a thread off of his shoulder or brush some “gunk” off the side of his head. Small touches, while not threatening, offer the open door that many men need to have in front of them for their self-esteem and wish to avoid rejection. By giving the man the “green light” in approaching you, you’ll boost his self-image as well as using your subtle body language to tell him that it’s OK for him to talk with you.
He and She:
You can always ask some sexy questions:
- Do you work out? (Assumes you like her/his physique);
- You have strong hands (as you touch his fingers);
- What’s your favorite way to express affection?
- Would you rather have a date with a woman who had been in a car accident and horribly disfigured that they looked just like a German Shepherd, or would rather have a date with a German Shepherd that had been so scarred in a car accident that it looked exactly like a beautiful woman?
- Why do men have nipples?
- Where on your body would be the most sensitive place to put an ice cube?
- Boxers or jockeys? Panties or briefs?
- How long have you been sexually active?
- Have you ever been diagnosed with an STD? If yes, which one?
- Are you on the pill?
- Circumcised?
If the questions being asked of you feel too nosy then answer with an intriguing “Like the price of tea in China” or something similarly vague. If the person gets the hint that the subject is off limits the conversation will move to safer ground. If not, well, move on, the person is just too nosy for simple, fun conversation.
If you feel that there is a ‘connection’ between the both of you, then be sure to ask for a date, a time to get together again. Thursday is the preferred ‘real date’ night for a first date. There is less pressure than a Friday or Saturday night date since it’s not going to be a full night of entertaining and a Thursday night date allows you to go for dessert and coffee somewhere, keep the time together to about one hour, maybe 90 minutes at most.
Should everything go well during this ‘first date’ it is OK to call on Friday (should you get their work phone number) for a Saturday night date.
If you don’t get the work number but want to get together anyways, when you make contact the ideal date will be either another Thursday night date to chat and sit together or a Friday night date but this has to be asked for and confirmed by the latest Tuesday before the Friday.
Should you have common friends, then you’ll be able to get some background info on the person. Otherwise use the ‘Asking Personal Questions’ test to feel he, or she, out (hint: know your answers if you were asked these same questions!):
- What do you like about where you work?
- About the job you do?
- How did you find the place you’re living in now? (if they’re not living with their parents!);
- What is the funniest movie you’ve seen?
- The scariest?
- The most romantic?
- What’s your favorite TV show?
- Do you have a favorite aunt or uncle?
- What is your most vivid (memorable) childhood memory?
Remember, things can only get better in your life when you move forward.
Get over yourself and either make the first move or be prepared to be a part of the introduction that someone addresses to you. And make it fun!
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