When Your Boyfriend Ignores You, Is It Him or Is It You?
It can be hard when it seems that your boyfriend wants to hang out with his friends more than with you.
Let’s look into a few reasons why and what you can do about it.
Is it his friends?
The boyfriend doesn’t get to see his friends a lot and enjoys being with them even if it means not spending the time with you although you are still present.
This type of situation sometimes ends up with two separate gatherings being in the same general space: a “hen party” and a “rooster party”. The guys hang with other guys and the women group together. It also ends up with a lot of competition for the boyfriend’s attention.
Win this battle by including yourself into the guy’s conversation, usually best with an embarrassing story about the boyfriend to share with the group. Anything else and you’ll just be ignored continually.
Is it your conversations?
The boyfriend seems to enjoy other people’s company to yours and often you are separated from him not only by distance (being in another room) but by conversation topic (things that either don’t interest you or stories of events when you were not around are discussed).
This type of distance separation can be conquered by using “active listening techniques”. Get involved in the conversation by listening and asking “what happened next” type questions as well as “how did that happen” questions.
By remaining near the BF without hanging on his shoulder or arm you can use these active listening tips to be involved in these stories and events that preceded your relationship.
Remember the news reporters rules and ask questions that answer the Who, What, Where, When and How questions of the events being discussed. Never change the subject.
What to do next
When you are ignored by your boyfriend when he is with his friends and you have tried the above techniques without positive results then it is time to make yourself missed by purposely not being with him when he is with his friends.
You leave to do your own thing.
This is an important step because many times when the other techniques do not work women can re-exert their control over the BF only by not actively being ignored by him. “Honey, you’re busy with your friends, I’m going shopping ” or go wherever, but do not wait out his time with his friends.
- Do not be the pet that waits patiently for the master to have time to play with, after all others have gone.
Show your power of self by deciding to not be ignored and making the choice to do something you want to do instead of just waiting for him. This is a huge step in any relationship and is important that the “leaving” is not done out of anger but you leave because you know your BF needs time to unwind with his friends and you should not be expected to wait for him to accomplish this unwinding.
Control your part of the relationship by exerting your individuality and do not follow his poor examples of friendship.
- You may also be interested in reading:
- Setting Relationship Boundaries
- Relationship Tools for Women
- Do Men Really Want Freedom?
- What is a Modern Siren?