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Why You Don’t Get Flowers Any More
A change in the romance does not mean a change in the relationship. Sometimes you have to 'give a lot' to 'get a little' in return.

Is Your Romance Dead?

So it’s Valentine’s Day, or your birthday, maybe your anniversary and you already know what your gift will be: Nothing.

You say to yourself, or complain out loud, “The romance is gone!”

Let me tell you, you’re not the first person to have this relationship problem.
It’s easy for couples to run into routine after a period of time. You watch the same TV shows, you eat the same foods, go to the same restaurants… all routine. It seems like such a rut, doesn’t it?

Well your relationship doesn’t have to be this way and instead of complaining, make the small changes yourself and, hopefully, your partner will see the difference in your actions and respond in kind.

I am very familiar with a couple that has been married over 25 years. The wife doesn’t complain that the romance is gone, but you can see it in her actions. Expect nothing and get nothing. And I’m not talking about “hinting out loud”, I’m talking about making some small efforts on your part to make a romantic difference in your life.

Get over the past. Move past it and train hard… train yourself to show first, expect later. Stay flexible and do not get mowed down by the impossibilities of your current lifestyle/workload/kid’s demands/ or any of the hundred other reason you have to stay apart from your partner.

It only takes you to begin romance but it does take a second person to “realize” that what you are doing “is romance”.

Start with small love notes tucked into the pocket of a shirt or jacket, maybe placed into a purse or briefcase.

Begin your mornings with a hug and an “I love you honey” and make it part of your day’s beginning, morning breath notwithstanding.

Set a side an hour each evening to spend together, watching TV, reading, listening to music. Time after the kids are put to bed, “couch time” for just the two of you. If you can’t do this every night, make a real effort, an appointment with each other, at least once a week. No demands, no ultimatums, just time together that can become a habit, because it will become a real habit if you start this “couch time” when you have no other demands of your time and make a real effort to be together somewhere other than the bedroom.

Don’t force romance, your relationship began a while ago, unforced. Make the first moves. Treat your lover as you want to be loved.
It’s infectious.

And you’ll start getting flowers again.

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Rob L. editor and writer
This article written and/or edited by Robert Lee.

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